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Dealing with the guilt of divorce

Thinking about whether to initiate a divorce can be a very confusing feeling. It can be almost impossible to figure out whether you are making the right decision, and questions will arise in your mind about whether you are giving up too soon or whether you should have put more effort into the relationship.

If you were unfaithful during the marriage, it is likely that you are dealing with the guilt of feeling as though you were to blame for the end of the marriage. But the fact of the matter is when a relationship breaks down, it is usually due to incompatibility between the couple, and no one can truly be blamed.

Why divorce brings up so much guilt

Divorce brings up so many guilty emotions because it can lead you to putting the blame on you and your actions, rather than accepting that the relationship itself is what was not right. It is important to remind yourself that a divorce does not have to define you. You are more than the circumstances that led up to your divorce, and the decision that you make can potentially lead to a better future for you and your children, if you have them.

The solution to divorce guilt

If you have children, your love for them can be helpful in overriding the guilty feelings that you have. Committing to do the best for their futures will help you to see how your decision to divorce comes from a love for yourself and for your children. If you are having difficulties in the divorce process, counseling or divorce mediation can be useful tools to assist you.

Source: Huffington Post, "Is Divorce Guilt Getting You Down?," accessed Dec. 01, 2017

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