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Salem Divorce And Family Law Blog

Explaining divorce to your children

One of the most difficult parts of divorce is having to explain to your children what is happening. This can be a heartbreaking thing to do, no matter what age they are. Their ages and their personalities will also have an impact on how you decide to do this.

It is very important to keep communication open with your children, and to create an environment where they can feel that they can ask you anything that they are concerned or scared about. The following are some guidelines about speaking to your children about your divorce.

When can a divorce settlement be changed?

Just because a divorce has been "settled" already, it does not mean that there are not certain things that you can do to alter it after the fact. This might be in relation to real estate or alimony.

There might be some issues that in practice do not work as well as they did on paper. It might be that just one former spouse or both former spouses that feel this way, and in these cases, motions and appeals for modifications can be made.

Visitation rights as an Oregon grandparent

Grandparents always have a special place in their heart for their grandchildren, and it can be heartbreaking if for some reason they are having difficulty in attaining the rights to visitation. Perhaps your child does not have custody of your grandchildren and the other parent is limiting access, or perhaps you are estranged from your child but you still want to maintain a healthy relationship with your grandchild. Whatever the reason, it should be possible for you to be a positive influence in your grandchildren's lives.

Unfortunately, in 2001 Oregon removed their law for grandparent visitation; therefore, there are no longer any specific provisions reserved for grandparents. However, as a grandparent, you will be considered as a nonparent who is seeking visitation rights. This is still taken seriously under the law.

Alimony and taxes: Changes are coming

If you start divorce proceedings before Dec. 31, 2018, and you will pay alimony, you will still be able to deduct the total amount you pay each year from your taxes. Your ex-spouse will still be required to pay taxes on the total amount of alimony each year.

However, once 2019 arrives, alimony will no longer be a deduction for the paying spouse and the receiving spouse will no longer have to pay taxes on it. Congress recently approved a massive tax overhaul and the alimony changes were part of it.

Deciding to divorce during retirement

It is becoming increasingly common for spouses to divorce in their senior years. Divorcing once retired is often referred to as "gray divorce". Many people decide to divorce after they have retired because they realize that they want different things in their lives. Retirement is a big transition. Therefore, it is common for big changes to occur.

Although divorce in your senior years can be beneficial, there are some considerations that you should keep in mind to ensure that you have sufficient financial security in the years ahead.

Dealing with the guilt of divorce

Thinking about whether to initiate a divorce can be a very confusing feeling. It can be almost impossible to figure out whether you are making the right decision, and questions will arise in your mind about whether you are giving up too soon or whether you should have put more effort into the relationship.

If you were unfaithful during the marriage, it is likely that you are dealing with the guilt of feeling as though you were to blame for the end of the marriage. But the fact of the matter is when a relationship breaks down, it is usually due to incompatibility between the couple, and no one can truly be blamed.

When can a third-party get custody of a child?

When handling a custody case, the courts always attempt to make decisions that are in the best interests of the child in question. The best option is usually for the child to live with both parents, since it is important for a child to have a sense of their identity and receive care from their biological parents. This is often not possible for divorcing parents, in which case a child can potentially live with one parent. If it is ruled that neither parent is suitable as the custodian of the child or if they pose a risk to the child, other options will need to be considered.

Third-party options

4 money issues that can lead to divorce

Money often pushes couples apart. It can even lead all the way to a divorce when couples cannot resolve their differences. These financial issues can then trickle over into the property division process.

Below are four different issues that sometimes cause a marriage to split up.

Making co-parenting a success

It's never easy to co-parent with a former spouse, because no matter how amicable the divorce process was, it is bound to have created a rift between the two of you. If you have decided to co-parent, this is great news. It means that you have both committed to putting the past behind you and only want the best for your child or children.

How to make a successful co-parenting relationship

How is fair alimony calculated?

If you are divorcing your spouse amicably, it is ideal if you can mutually decide on as many decisions as possible together. This can range from the dividing of the house and other assets, to child visitation, support and alimony. The more that you can decide together, the better coparents you will be and there will be less chance of resentment in your relationship.

If you decide that you want to determine the terms of your alimony together, you need to start by sitting down and weighing in on all of the factors that come into play. When courts calculate alimony payments, not only do they base the ruling on the income of the breadwinner, but they take into account the other spouse's future ability to earn money.

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